In which Naomi gives her two cents on hair and decides for herself that cursing is acceptable as long as it’s in British slang. She desperately tries to keep up with her blog.
As I sat on my couch watching old television reruns one Saturday night, my cellphone buzzed, a familiar number flashed over the screen. For privacy’s sake, I’ll call her Lily. A friend of 3 years, sometimes she likes to invite me to social gatherings.
Lily, this naive girl, thought that I could go hand out with her after washing my hair. See, washing our hair isn’t so simple as a wash-and-go. I wouldn’t even call it that, it deserves some pretentious, incredibly long name, like “wash-and-wait-10-hours-to-untangle-that-damn-knot”, because it is just that tedious.
Black hair is dry, just like my sense of humor. When it’s not moisturized, it gets brittle and fragile, making it susceptible to split ends. I despise split ends, because the only way to get rid of it is to trim them away. And don’t give me that spiel about “cutting you hair makes it grow faster” because I can tell you that’s a load of shite. Sure, trimming gets rid of split ends, but it won’t make it grow any faster.
Going back on topic, the best solution to dry hair is to deep condition. These are the type of conditioners that you leave overnight for it to work its magic, then wake up to virtually smooth-as-silk hair. The only problem is, you’re kind of incapable of going out with friends. I don’t think a shower cap is a cute look on me.
Glancing at my hair, then back at the phone incredulously, I politely declined and hung up the phone. Besides, this was the episode Chandler and Monica get marries, and I can’t miss that.
Side note: A friend said “Just because you put an ‘e’ after a curse word doesn’t make it British slang”. Welp, it’s my blog. Seriously, if anyone is offended by the culture appropriation , simply say so in the comments and I’ll consider removing the offending remark.
How long can a side note be until it’s no longer a side note?
Anyway, if anyone gets the earlier reference, I will squeal with joy.