Homemade Coconut Oil Part 1

When Naomi makes coconut oil by hand and may or may or may not have made weed in her kitchen.

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So I’m not the type of person that likes making homemade stuff. That’s just me, I’d rather get my friends store-bought presents than try my best to make those Pinterest gifts and fail horribly. I’m not going to put my friends through that torture.

But when it comes to my hair products, I’d rather do a DIY shampoo instead of spending $20 or more on a pretentious product. Do you know how many McNuggets I can buy with that money? If I was good at math, I could tell you the exact number, but believe me, it’s a lot.

Anyway, this week I decided to make coconut oil by hand. My mother taught me how to do this about a year ago, and now I never buy the store bought products. There’s usually some added ingredient added in, like mineral oil or some other filler ingredient.

Even it’s pure coconut oil, the price can skyrocket up to $10 for a good bottle. I find that homemade coconut oil makes my hair softer than the store bought kind, but maybe that’s the placebo effect talking. Hey, I’m not shaming you if you don’t want to be all DIY. I’m just a cheap person that refuses to cough up money and wants to save a couple of bucks.

You may be wondering, “when does it get to the weed part?” That comes later.

The materials for this recipe are:

• 3-4 ripe coconuts for one cup of coconut oil
• a sharp knife
• blender or food processir
• cutting board
• strainer
• a stove
• metal pot
• a bowl, preferably transparent
• a lot of patience

To get a ripe one, shake it a little to hear a swishing noise. A spoiled coconut would be dried up and won’t  have a lot of liquids.

Step One: Crack the Coconut

This part is the most fun and the most dangerous. Go outside, preferable where there is hard concrete and few people. You just literally grab a coconut, pull your arm back and throw it as hard as you can. Coconut shells are extremely hard, so it’s the only way to take off the shell. Tell people to step back a bit when you do this, because the pieces will fly everywhere.

Now, I have heard that you can use a type of corkscrew or witch craft to open the coconut. The problem is, we’re not just cracking it open, we’re stripping it of its shell entirely. Besides, if you’re reading how to make it homemade, you’re probably not going out to buy a corkscrew anyway.

Warning: Seriously, do this outside where there isn’t many people or someone could get hurt by the flying coconut shells. It would be hard to explain to the police how someone died by a coconut and you don’t want to deal with the authorities.

When the shell comes off, it can look something like this:

The shell is completely off when the thin layer of brown skin is all that’s left.

This took forever, to be honest. Okay, it was only 45 minutes and it was kind of fun cracking stuff against the concrete, but it was sort of a pain.

This post is stretching out a little too long, so the other post will be published later today.

Keep tabs on my blog post and wait for the wait update!